Guest Post: Two Eyes in the Mirror.

6 Jan

Guess who’s back for my fabulous final guest post? That’s right, the amazingly inspiring and absolutely stunning Ashley from Two Eyes in the Mirror. Final guest post, I hear you scream? I know you’re probably gutted, because that means you don’t get to know one of these amazing girls every other day of the week. Well, you know what I’d say to that? Suck it. I am off my crutches, and while my ankle might still be an interesting shade of purple, I’m ready to get my life back. Hell, today I even managed to fit a proper shoe on it for the first time in 3 weeks. Anyway. For today, Ashley has a little story for you. Enjoy.

 

My name is Ashley.  I’m a 21 year old girl, and I’ve had plastic surgery.

You might know me from my own blog, Two Eyes in the Mirror, or you may remember the series of posts I wrote earlier this year for Amy on Beauty Standards in Korea.  Well, I’m back, and I want to discuss with you a vaguely related subject, but on a much more personal level.  Let’s call it “plastic surgery and me.”  It kind of has a ring to it, no?

Wait, what? YOU’VE had plastic surgery? But aren’t you “that girl” who tells everyone to love their body as it is?

Yes I am.  And yes, I’ve had plastic surgery.  And yes, I’d totally recommend it.

I don’t understand. What kind of plastic surgery have you had? Oh, I know. Your boobs aren’t real, are they?! I KNEW IT!

Actually, my boobs are real, thank you very much.  You can tell because they aren’t situated within my collar bone.  But we’re getting off topic here.  My ears!  I had plastic surgery on my ears!

This was how I was born. No, I wasn’t born in DisneyWorld in a pair of shitty drawstring shorts, but I was born with the ears. Big ears. Dumbo ears. Whatever ears. I’d heard it all before the time I was twelve.

People can do a number on you when you’ve got the ears, and although I’ve been moderately cocky confident for most of my life, that’s one thing that always got to me, mostly because I knew it was true. The ears didn’t do anything for me. They didn’t make me cute. They didn’t make me charmingly quirky. The ears didn’t do anything but make me insecure. So I decided to change them.

Okay, so, it wasn’t as easy as all of that. It took years and years of teasing, of insecurity, and of me hating my appearance before I finally worked up the nerve to just go for it. I had a consultation appointment when I was eleven, which is the first step in the otoplasty (ear pinning) process, but I lost the nerve to go through with it after hearing that I’d have to be knocked out and wear a headband around my ears for two months after. Let’s face it–if kids are going to tease you for having big ears, they’re sure as hell not going to pass up the opportunity to make fun of you if you’re wearing a sweatband every day of the week. So I gave up on it.

For a while. And then, when I was 16, I’d had enough. I had my consultation in November. I had my pre-op physical on January 6 and my surgery three days later. I was knocked out for two hours while some guy gave my ears the antihelical folds they were missing. Then, I woke up. Then, I was told to go back to sleep because I had woken up too early. Then, I woke up again. And, after two trying months of wearing the headband, I no longer had the ears. I just had ears. And it felt good.

Maybe you’re reading this right now and you’re thinking how weak I was because I wasn’t able to accept my difference. Until you’ve been in that situation, you really can’t judge. Everyone can look in the mirror and see things they don’t like. “Ugh, look at my thighs! They’re so huge!” or “OMG. I HATE my gut!” But these are things that can be changed easily enough. You can get on the stairmaster and carve yourself out some killer thighs. You can eat nothing but soup for a week and your gut will probably be gone. But to look into the mirror, hate what you see, and know that there is no way you yourself can change it is probably one of the biggest blows to one’s psyche. To know that you could probably be an attractive, confident* person if it weren’t for one minor detail kills. It’s always hanging in the back of your mind. “Oh, I look nice today! …But I still have the ears.” I didn’t want to feel like that for the rest of my life. Who would?

If you don’t like something, you have two options: you deal with it, or you change it. Is one option better than the other? I don’t know. Everyone’s different. Do I have any regrets about having the surgery? Absolutely not. No way. That tells me I chose the right option for myself.


Me, five years later, rocking the man-made ears (and man-made hair color).

* Because let’s face it. Attractiveness and confidence are basically the same things.

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13 Responses to “Guest Post: Two Eyes in the Mirror.”

  1. Amber January 6, 2012 at 6:08 pm #

    kids can be so cruel but you showed them. none of those teasers are gonna get with sexy normal ears Ashley now.

  2. Kathryn January 6, 2012 at 7:09 pm #

    ….aaaaand Ashley continues to get even more kick-ass with each post!

    I’ve considered plastic surgery for my huge honker of a nose that got me a fair amount of teasing in school, but is now mostly a personal torment. Congrats for having the drive to actually go under the knife instead of just flirting with the idea (which is what I’ve been doing. The same goes for dying my hairs and tattoos. I’m such a weirdo about change).

    All I can say is that you’re one of the prettiest and hilariously awesome people on the planet. Getting plastic surgery to make a change that’ll make your life just that much more awesome is DEFINITELY empowering and admirable.

    • Kathryn January 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm #

      *hair. Wow, fail. Also, stick a “most” between “and” and “hilariously.” #mustproofread

    • Ashley January 10, 2012 at 1:00 am #

      I like you. A lot.

  3. kirsty January 7, 2012 at 9:05 pm #

    kids can be awful and i have no issues with surgery to correct something or enhance. It’s there for a reason so use it xxxxxxxxxxxx

  4. two birds January 7, 2012 at 11:32 pm #

    i had no idea….what an honest post. i love it, and good for you for taking charge of your life and deciding what was right for you!

  5. jodi January 8, 2012 at 4:44 pm #

    I LOVE your story. What a huge surgery to go through! You are gorgeous. 🙂

  6. Breakfast with Tiffany January 9, 2012 at 5:10 pm #

    It’s just terrible what you had to deal with growing up. I’d have made the same decision, I’m sure. You are stunningly gorgeous, Ashley!!

  7. Ashley January 10, 2012 at 1:01 am #

    Thanks y’all for your comments! Glad you enjoyed the post!!

  8. Lyosha Gont (@spady_Spade) January 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm #

    oh my! I’m so sorry you had to go through this with your ears. but the post it great anyway.
    deal with your body or change it – that’s the right thing to write

  9. Tracy January 11, 2012 at 5:37 pm #

    I love you Ashley. You are my hero. Every single time I learn more about you I fall deeper in love. Creepy maybe. True? Absolutely.

  10. Simoni January 12, 2012 at 7:25 pm #

    very honest and unique post! is so amazing how you can talk about your story! i am sure that there are lots of people will be inspired by this post!

  11. JennaD January 17, 2012 at 10:31 pm #

    I hate my ears SO much too, I think they look awkward with my face shape and are just ridiculous. I just wear my hair down and at least mine can be hidden and when I wear my hair up I make sure they are covered. You’re gorgeous, this was a wonderful post and I’m glad someone else had a thing with ears
    xJennaD

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