Guest Post: Locked Out Fashion.

30 Dec

Today we have the cute and lovely Michelle from Locked Out Fashion sharing her (perhaps slightly irrational…) fear with us all. Enjoy 🙂

I’m terrified of my belly button coming undone.

Hi! I’m Michelle from Locked Out. When Amy asked me to write a guest post for her, I completely blanked on what to write about – but when she asked if I could write about either my first surgery or my biggest fear, I knew what I needed to write about.

When I was four, I got my appendix out.

I don’t remember much about it. I just remember having a terrible stomachache at dinner one night – it had to be in the winter, because it was 6pm (dinner time) and dark out!! I lied down on the couch and that’s the last thing I remember, before being the hospital for a long time and my mom sleeping on a cot beside my little hospital bed. (You know your parents love you when they sleep on tiny, hard, rollaway cots in smelly hospital rooms in pediatrics!)

Nowadays, when they get your appendix out, they just do a variation of laparoscopy – they cut a small incision in the belly button, insert a tube, fill your abdomen slightly with gas, insert a hook, and pull out the offending organ. All without leaving a gigantic scar. When I was four, that was not the case!

My most vivid memory after getting my surgery has inspired one of my biggest fears. Are you ready? It’s absolutely ridiculous.

I’m terrified of my belly button coming undone and my insides falling out.

Totally and completely irrational, but let me explain!

When I got my appendix out, they made a small incision on the lower righthand side of my belly and removed the (apparently useless) organ. This left a pretty gaping wound in a four year old! They used a new form of stitches on me that disintegrated as the incision healed and, to keep me from scratching them, or worse, pulling them out, put a piece of clear body tape over it. I could see the stitches. I could see the cut. I vaguely remember it being bloody. Mostly, though, I remember being absolutely terrified of the tape coming off. I failed to understand that the stitches would disintegrate and the wound would heal and they would replace the tape, but never leave it off. And that, eventually, I wouldn’t have an open hole in my belly.

I remember going to get the last tape removed – with the incision almost completely healed and the beginnings of a faint scar forming. I remember being terrified and crying and scared. And from that point on, I promised myself: I would never let my insides be in danger of falling out.

Over time, this sort of moved towards “belly button coming undone,” which I’m not sure how that happened, but it definitely put me off of that teenage rebellion of piercing my belly button. I’m also terrified of needles for the same reason: I feel like they might make my belly button come undone. Yeah, I am a complete weirdo.

I know my fear is completely irrational, but it doesn’t stop me from cringing whenever I see a belly button ring, have to get blood drawn, or worse, have to get an actually laparoscopy!! (Yes, I got one two years ago for a variety of reasons and it inspired some of my most irrationally panicked moments ever.)

When it comes down to it, all my fears are irrational. My belly button coming undone. My hand getting caught in a blender or garbage disposal (I actually can’t be around them when they are on). Getting hit by a car. Dying in a plane crash. And getting kidnapped by a serial killer. Oh and the dark. I’m kind of a scaredy cat when it comes to everything, but at least I realize I’m being completely irrational, right?

So there you go! I’m the girl who is scared of her belly button coming undone and her insides falling out.

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